From Twitter: So, You Wanna Buy A Gun?

(Posts with “From Twitter:” are multi-part Twitter posts from my account that I felt should also appear here; if only so I can annotate and expand on them without the restrictions of Twitter’s formatting)

   So with the rise in violent far-right rhetoric and nut-jobs coming out of the ground everywhere, you might be thinking about getting a firearm to protect yourself with. What model? What caliber? What color?

Pink Camo MP-5
Seriously, color is important when you’re tarting up a .22cal fake MP5SD for your 7 year old daughter. And yes, that’s what this is.

Before you even get to that,there are three questions you need to ask yourself first. You don’t have to answer right away, but you need to seriously understand and consider them. And if the answer to any one of them is “no”; that’s not a reflection on your character, it’s just self-honesty. But if it is… do NOT get a gun.

Question 1: Could I kill another human being if I had to?

Some of the people reading this will say “Yes, if I had to” and be absolutely serious about that. Some of them have shot another human.

But I guarantee you it was an act that lives with them for the rest of their life.

It’s not the movies. It will be the most agonizing decision you ever have to make in your entire life, especially if you’ve never been in that situation before. Many people, when they reach that critical moment, will hesitate. Or will have convinced themselves that they can bluff; that no one’s stupid enough to charge into a gun pointed at them. Maybe not…

But worst case is they’re shot with their own gun, taken from them by the assailant.

8% of police fatalities have been by their own gun… and these are people who have been trained for this very moment. If you cannot honestly say that you could kill another person, even to save your own life or a loved one’s, that doesn’t make you a bad person. But it does mean that you shouldn’t buy a gun. The odds of having it used against you are too high. There is no bluffing with a gun.

“But I could just wound him!” Good luck, Annie Oakley. No, seriously; you will NOT shoot the gun out of the bad guy’s hand unless he’s a mannequin. People don’t stand still for you OR give you time to line up your shot. Take a minute and watch another person walk towards you. Their legs move, natch; but look how much their arms move. Their hands. Their head. And they’re relaxed. Not charging you. Not scaring you shitless. And if you’re lucky enough to hit them in the leg, or shoulder… they’re not going to drop like the movies. Humans are both amazingly fragile and ridiculously strong at the same time, and mindset makes a huge difference.

The ONE place that remains relatively still compared to the rest of the body AND offers a greater chance of stopping their aggressive actions, in the usual cop legalese, is the upper chest. (we’re intentionally not talking about the pelvis; that’s for another time). Heart, lungs, diaphragm; a cornucopia of vital organs, lots of blood vessels that can be severed.

Was that graphic? So is shooting another human being; thus the mental image.

In other words, the only target you’re going to be able to hit under insane levels of stress is very likely going to kill this person. There are no magic bullets and fewer one-shot-stops, but odds are high this person is going to die. There is no such thing as “shoot to wound” in the civilian world. You will likely kill this person. That’s what guns mean; that’s what they do against living creatures; and you can never forget this.

Well, that horse is dead; but it leads in to the next question:

Question 2: Will I dedicate the time and expense to become safe and proficient?

I just described what accurate shooting under stress entailed. That isn’t provided when you buy this gun. Guns are NOT “point-and-shoot”; despite what movies and Call Of Duty say. There is a LOT of instruction required to safely, accurately, and competently handle any gun (instruction that’s not required in far too many states). And this is COMPETENT instruction; not you and Skeeter shooting some tin cans with a .22. And you have to keep practicing that skill, which means range time and ammo, and realistic training. “Shooting ain’t like riding a bike”, my instructors taught me in between wads of Red Man, “it goes away.” Shooting is a frangible skill… Your muscles learn the memory, if you’re training enough; but they can lose it over time. “I’m rusty” won’t help you in that split second. (Oh, and Range Guru who confidently tells me he’s shot all his life and knows what he’s doing… No. No, you don’t; even if you have a Barrett .50 in your truck. I watched you load pistol rounds backwards and point the gun at your face when it didn’t fire.)

And the 3rd, and in some ways most important, question is:

Question 3: Will I safely and responsibly store this weapon?

There ARE ways to keep quick access to your weapon without worrying that your children will find them; but in 2017, 383 “accidental” shootings with children occurred. (BTW, there are NO “accidental” shootings; only unintentional discharges. A rather dry term for the horror it describes, particularly when it’s your gun and your child.) Not to mention the hundreds of thefts from houses, cars, and bags that occur each month in this country. And slapping a gun lock on it isn’t a solution. I was 11 when I jimmied the trigger lock on my mom’s .22 JC Higgins revolver, (bought from the Sears catalog; how’s that for old home week?) hidden in a closet, and tried to load it, out of curiosity. Luckily for me, I put the rounds in the front of the cylinder. This was discovered and later resulted in an ass-whuppin’… and a trip to a patch of woods with my dad to learn how to safely handle guns.  Children will find a way.

It seems like I’m overplaying the seriousness of guns; but if anything, I’m understating it. This is a tool, yes; but a tool for a very particular purpose and dangerous as shit. This is a chainsaw with a megawatt laser on it and a hair trigger. It can be mastered and used safely and accurately, but it’s still hella dangerous. And the consequences of misuse are extreme and dire.

So. Think about these questions. Discuss them with your loved ones. And only then make your decision.

(By the way, if you’re the person who answered “Yes!!” to question 1 because you’re itching to shoot some *insert your favorite racial epithet here*, then no… No, guns are not for you. Not that you can shoot them worth a shit anyway.)

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