Monday, September 27, 2004

Yup. Third time in a month, and we’re in line for another tropical storm. Yeah, so Florida got the banging for a fourth time with a hurricane. Who cares about 100 mph winds? My yard’s going to get soggy!

Oh, and I figured out the Excel thing.

And if any of you out there develop spy- and ad-ware, you can bend right down and kiss my wrinkled scrotum. I religiously scan for adware, use pop-up blockers, etc. etc. ad nauseum; and just spent the last couple of hours tracking down and deleting ad-ware that somehow snuck onto my laptop anyway. Fuckers.

Tuesday, September 21, 2004

Ivan the Terrible came through last week, with much the expected result in my neck of the woods- lots of rain and wind. Which meant lots of trees down across the road and power outages, but surprisingly few accidents. Which also meant that I spent a lot of time in the rain directing traffic, fun fun.

On the home front, I’ve almost entirely de-crabgrassed the yard. I never thought I would live somewhere where I gave two shits about the state of my grass; usually it’s “Oh, the weeds in the front yard are at knee height; better mow”. For some reason, having decent sod has short-circuited some part of my brain and I’m now obsessive about getting the yard perfect. TruGreen ChemLawn (and you thought bizarre all-caps-ing names was an Internet fetish) comes by every month and a half and sprays chemical glick and every weekend I get down on all fours (!!!) and pull up crabgrass. I’ve worked my way around the front and side of the house and am now on the back. It’s not quite putting green quality, but it’s getting there. Ahh, the vanities of the first-time home owner.

Side note: Anyone know how to use visual basic to change the formatting of one Excel spreadsheet cell based on the value in a different cell? I’ve found several macros that will change a cell based on the value in that cell; and Excel’s bulit-in conditional formatting will change a cell based on the value of another cell- but only for three conditions. I need a macro to do it for 6 conditions. Leave helpful comments below. Or hateful, whatever.

Oh, almost forgot: Clocked a yellow and black rice rocket at 144 mph in a 65 zone. Yes, I gave chase. No, I didn’t catch it; as he was lane-splitting through heavy traffic at around 80 to 100. I’m confident that he lives nearby and that I’ll get another crack at him… in the meantime, I had to take a picture of the radar unit. Not likely to see that speed in the display again anytime soon!

Sunday, September 12, 2004

Not the first bizarre dream I’ve had, and certainly not the last. Actually had this one several days ago, but it’s been a busy week.

I’m in a large room with a peaked ceiling, held up by wood beams. I get the impression it’s sort of an attic area for a house (that’s the nice thing about my dreams, the backstory’s taken care of- I knew in the dream that this was a workroom of mine without anyone telling me). In the center of the room is a huge table, taking up most of the room, covered in tools and bits of machinery and electronics. Windows ring the room, high up on the wall, and it’s night outside; the room itself is dimly lit.

And, scuttling about the room, are metal millipedes- ranging from a couple of inches long to almost a foot, made up of “I” shaped segments with a pair of thin legs on each segment. I have to take a tiny screw and jeweler’s screwdriver and screw it into the end of the millipede to de-activate them; but the problem is that on the opposite end are a pair of nasty-looking pincers… and, when you pick one up, it starts shooting pale blue lasers from each leg tip. So I’m scrambling around, snatching up millipedes, trying to fiddle a tiny screw into the end of each one, while it squirms around trying to bite me and zapping me with tiny lasers.

Don’t ask me what this one was about. Dream analysts, have a field day. Personally, I think it was the NyQuil gelcaps I took before bed.
In other news, Florida’s looking at another assraping courtesy of Mother Nature. What struck me about all the hurricane news was the number of retirees who lost their mobile homes. Crap, folks, if you’re going to move to a hurricane prone state, make sure your house is built to withstand one. Plan your retirement, in other words.
Being somewhat of a weather junkie, I’m actually hoping it takes a path similar to Frances and drops some storms on us.

Sunday, September 05, 2004

So, the traffic unit got shanghied for a dignitary protection gig, escorting the former Chief Justice of the Alabama supreme court, who was in town for a fundraising dinner to support the legal battle the county is in – a lawsuit filed by an anonymous person to remove a copy of the Ten Commandements from the courthouse. If that sentence didn’t wear you out, try standing around for 7 hours while a couple of hundred people eat dinner around you, then work traffic for a couple more hours.

Now, the whole ten commandments fight doesn’t really interest me- while I consider myself religious, or at least “spiritual”, in the sense that I believe there was a creator God; I can’t consider myself Christian, as I don’t think the Bible is the literal word of God. Some good ideas, yes, but filtered though the prejudices and biases of its human writers. Nor do I think that Christianity is necessarily the only way to know God. Had I voiced those opinions out loud at this dinner, I doubt I would have made it to the door. Which is, in a nutshell, my problem with this whole movement.

You see, while the Chief Justice spoke about how this legal entanglement isn’t really about separation of Church and State, or even the Ten Commandments per se; but really about the ability for governments to acknowledge God- he also made it clear that he didn’t consider other religions to be valid or acknowledgeble. Don’t worry, the government doesn’t care if you’re muslim, or buddhist, or jewish…

But it was obvious that he did, as did everyone in that audience. And that’s what bothered me. While they’re fighting to keep the Ten Commandments in the courthouse, they’re also fighting to say that christianity is the religion that founded this country and is the only one that counts. That bothers me a bit. How far do they want to go with this? How far will they go?

As for the title of this entry, there was a little dance number at the beginning of the dinner, featuring several late teen boys, with closely shaved heads, dressed in wildly colored camoflauge pants, black t-shirts, and black army caps, singing about being the Army of God while miming firing rifles, swinging sticks, and lifting weights. Aside from being laughable- my roommate was reminded of the Monty Python “gay army” sketch- it reminded me of certain ’30s propaganda films featuring an organization for young men wearing red armbands. The skinhead haircuts didn’t help, either.

In other news… there isn’t any other news. TruGreen came and aerated the yard, but left the dirt plugs scattered around like goose turds. We’re waiting for the rain promised when hurricane / tropical storm Frances finishes fist-banging Florida and makes it’s way through Georgia. I re-installed the webcam in the office. And that’s about it.

Tuesday, August 31, 2004

Well, the site is almost complete… the only thing left is to get the subdomain to register properly. After figuring out that adding a subdomain isn’t all automatic now (thought it was supposed to be), I contacted OC Hosting to get the subdomain registered with their name servers. That they did… and pointed it to teneight.com, which is supposed to be defunct. *sigh* Another email sent.

Tomorrow, back to work; although not to write tickets… rather, we’re moving the office from the bottom of the courthouse to an old elementary school. Half the school is still in use as a remedial school; the other half was given to the Sheriff’s Office for Narcotics, Traffic, and Training. Someday they’ll get around to building the new jail and office; until then I guess we’re spread out over the county. At least it’s closer to home.

Monday, August 30, 2004

The witch being TenEight.com. TenEight was a web site, forum, online apparel shop, and internet radio show I ran for law enforcement. It was up for 2 and a half years, had 300 or so users, and was dying out. No one had made a post in a month. Why? Well, any forum requires input from its operators to keep it going through the dry spells. I found I really didn’t have time to spend on that input and what time I spent I felt I could have used doing other things that are just as if not more important to me. So, away it went, with an abrupt jerk of the life-support plug. The webspace was transferred to a new domain, 5100bac.net, to house my web pages and my roommates’. I’m probably spending too much time as it is shuffling everything over and re-arranging it.

I’m on (wait, it’s after midnight) day 3 of my 4 days off. I managed to get the bulk of my weekend chores (clean the house, take care of the yard) done so I can spend the remainder on this site and on the throw-phone I’m supposed to build for work. What’s a throw-phone? It’s one of those closed-loop telephones that you can toss into a room where someone’s taken a hostage, so the negotiators can talk to the bad guy. Can’t be intercepted, controlled completely by the negotiator, and commercial models cost $2500 and up. I’ve been given $1000 in grant money to build one, and I’m wondering what I’ve gotten myself into. It’s a simple circuit, but there’s a long road from diagram to working model. It remains to be seen if I’ve wasted the grant money or not.