Sunday, October 10th, 2004
As some of you may or may not know, I’m a traffic cop. Yup, I’m one of those guys that gives you the expensive ticket when you’ve made an improper turn, run a red light, or were speeding. Believe it or not, I sleep well at night, because I know that after I’m done, most of you are going to pay a bit more attention to your driving.
But what I can’t stand are the folks who constantly whine about getting a ticket. It’s not a speed trap, folks- you were speeding, and I caught you. I can write a never-ending stream of tickets without having to make them up; if I stopped you, it’s because I’m 100% certain you were speeding. Go ahead and search the web for those “how to beat a ticket” books; I run radar and laser by the book, the same way every time, and I haven’t lost a case yet. I don’t care if you’re late for work, if a relative is in the hospital, or if you’ve really, really got to go to the bathroom. I don’t believe you when you tell me your cruise control was set at the speed limit, your car won’t go that fast, or you just sped up for a second to pass that guy. If you can’t afford the ticket, if your insurance will go up, or if your parents/spouse/whoever will be very upset because you got a ticket, you should have weighed that risk before you pushed the gas. Some of you may actually not have known how fast you were going- which just tells me you’re not paying attention to your driving- but those of you doing 95 in a 65 know damn well you’re going a lot faster than the speed limit. My job is to slow you down to somewhere close to the speed limit, because the faster you’re going over, the more likely you are to have a wreck and the more likely that that wreck will be a serious one. If I could do that by just telling you the dangers, I’d just make TV ads about it. But I know you- you’re not going to let that slow you down. So I encourage you to slow down by hitting you in the pocketbook- if it’s going to cost you money, you’ll pay attention.
So, if I catch you speeding, don’t whine and don’t give me the same old boring excuse. Either bite the bullet and take the ticket, or at least give me an excuse that’s original. For more on that, check the weblog.