Monday, October 11, 2004

On the Front Porch page, I vent a little about speeding tickets and the whining folks do when they get them. You were speeding, you got caught, face it. Or at least come up with a clever excuse… I’ve heard enough of the same old excuses that a funny one might get you arbitrarily issued warning. I wish I could give you some examples, but good responses are rare and I really can’t think of any. That, and “Family Guy” is diverting my attention at the moment. More sad than funny is the guy who told me he was speeding because he really, really had to get to a bathroom… as the unmistakable smell of fresh feces wafted from the car. Possibly he was lying to get out of the ticket; but anyone who’d crap their pants on cue to get a warning has gone above and beyond the call of duty in my opinion. Then there was the woman I pulled over after seeing her stopped at a red light… on the wrong side of the road. It was around 2:30 in the morning, the perfect time for drunks to be out. She seemed rather tense and more than a little annoyed, and told me she’d been at the Kroger pharmacy. I couldn’t smell any alcohol, so I asked her what the medication was for; thinking she had taken something that had affected her driving. She screwed up her face, looking like she’d sucked on the ass-end of a lemon-filled weasel, and said “Bladder infection.”

She got a warning.

“Operation: Organize Garage” is complete- there’s now a cabinet-workbench area, and plywood up in the attic for all the junk that was in the garage. All for a mere $800- thanks, Home Depot credit card!- and a nice gash on my head when I stood up into the corner of one of the cabinet doors. And I finished CT’s website wishes. Still no closer on finishing the throw phone, though.